If I Need You (If You Come Back To Me #5) Read online

  “It’s for sale,” Faith said, pointing at the sign in the yard.

  Ryan did a double take and frowned. “Mari and I just sold it to a couple a little over a year ago. They must have had a change of heart.”

  A moment later Ryan turned into the driveway of an appealing white-shingled Colonial Revival-style home. He put the car in Park, but instead of getting out, he turned toward her, his intent manner taking her off guard.

  “If it bothers you that much, the idea of being single and having the baby—”

  He paused, leaving Faith puzzled as to what he was about to say, his gaze fixed out the front windshield. Faith saw a beautiful woman with long dark hair coming down the front steps of the house toward them. She wore an attractive green dress that tied beneath her breasts and above the small roundness of her belly. Her leather lace-up sandals and matching shoulder bag gave her a hip, sophisticated appearance. As she approached the car, Ryan’s sister smiled at Faith through the window. Faith stepped out of the car to greet her.

  Within a minute of meeting Mari Kavanaugh, Faith fully recognized how baseless her fears were. Mari was one of the warmest, kindest people she’d ever met. The fact that she seemed as eager to know Faith as Faith was to know her helped matters greatly.

  The three of them ate outdoors on the patio at a local restaurant, Jake’s Place. The weather was ideal, the company excellent and the food good. Mari and Faith compared notes on their pregnancy while Ryan listened. Despite his impassive expression, Faith thought he paid close attention to what they said. It was obvious to Faith that Ryan deeply cared about his little sister. He leaned forward and took part in the conversation more animatedly when the topic turned to Mari’s daughter, Riley. It warmed her heart to hear him speak with such fond pride of his niece.

  “That’s the last one I have on my cell phone,” Ryan said as he showed Faith the final photo, this one of a grinning little girl sitting amongst a huge pile of torn Christmas wrapping, a red wrapping bow in her curly, dark hair.

  “She liked the wrapping paper more than she did her presents,” Mari told Faith with a twinkle in her eyes.

  “She’s absolutely adorable,” Faith said sincerely, handing the phone back to Ryan. “Do you and your husband know if Riley is going to have a brother or sister?”

  “A sister,” Mari said, giving Ryan a knowing glance. “Another niece for Uncle Ryan to spoil. Speaking of which, what about you? Am I going to have a niece or nephew? My first time being an aunt!” Mari said with barely contained excitement.

  Faith laughed. Mari’s enthusiasm was contagious. The two women began talking excitedly, pausing to nod an acknowledgment when Ryan saw an old friend walk onto the patio and excused himself to go and greet him. Mari watched her brother walk away and glanced at Faith with a smile.

  “He probably needs a break from all the estrogen we’re exuding.”

  Faith chuckled, but shook her head a little sadly. She caught Mari’s eye.

  “He’s got to be plowed under by all this, Mari. It was the last thing he expected.”

  Mari’s grin faded. She reached across the table and patted Faith’s hand. “The same must be true for you,” she said feelingly.

  “I’m okay,” she assured. “You know how it is, being a mother. Sure, it took me by storm when I realized I was going to have a baby. But I’ve had months to come to terms with it, and the baby is here—” she touched her belly significantly “—growing inside me. It’s different for Ryan.”

  “He’ll get his footing. Ryan is nothing if not adaptable. He may be stunned, but he’s also happy, Faith. Incredibly so,” Mari added more quietly.

  “Do you really think so?”

  Mari nodded. “I could hear the wonder in his voice when he told me he was going to have a child. Family is very important to Ryan.”

  “I can imagine.” Faith’s expression tightened with compassion and she turned her hand, giving Mari’s hand a squeeze. “You guys lost your family when you were so young. It’s no wonder he values family ties the way he does. Did he...did Ryan tell you about his plans to move to Michigan?” Faith asked hesitantly.

  Mari’s golden brown eyes filled with concern. “I’m guessing you’re not very pleased about that?”

  “It’s not that,” Faith exclaimed. “His decision just took me by surprise, that’s all.” She sighed and leaned back in her chair. “To be honest, this whole thing with your brother has taken me off guard.”

  “I can only imagine. At least one little mystery has been cleared up for me,” Mari said, a small smile tugging at her mouth.

  “What’s that?”

  “Why Ryan was so fixed and determined to return to Michigan last Christmas Eve. I thought for sure he’d be less than thrilled at the idea of spending the holiday at Brigit’s house, so I was shocked when he readily—even eagerly—agreed to come with us to Harbor Town. He obviously was looking forward to seeing you.”

  Faith’s eyes widened in amazement at this news. Perhaps Mari noticed her unsettlement because she gave her a big smile.

  “Like I said, time is what’s needed. You two will figure things out. For my part, I’m thrilled to have met you.”

  “I’m so glad to have met you, as well,” she returned sincerely. “I was really worried about it, earlier.”

  “Why?” Mari asked.

  “I thought you might...you know...judge me for being pregnant when I’m not even dating your brother,” she mumbled.

  “Don’t be silly. I’m the last person on earth to judge something like that. I hadn’t seen Riley’s father—Marc—for a decade when I accidentally got pregnant. We can’t always plan life. We just have to—”

  “Live it,” Faith finished for her, repeating what Ryan had said in the car earlier.

  Mari squeezed her hand before she let it go. “Babies are amazing things all on their own, but what’s truly wonderful is the way they can pull people together,” Mari said meaningfully before she glanced toward the far side of the patio. Faith followed the path of her gaze and saw Ryan walking toward them, his stare directly on her. Her heart began to pound erratically.

  “That definitely sounds like the case with you and your husband,” Faith said hesitantly. “It’s different for Ryan and I. Our situation is...unusual.”

  “Babies also have a way of making the unusual more commonplace,” Mari assured.

  Faith smiled shakily. The baby was already bringing Ryan and her closer. It excited her to be near him, to feel his admiring glances and warm touches...to feel like an attractive, desirable woman again.

  But what if they got too close?

  Eventually, he’d fly away from her. He’d live a life separate from her as he traveled with his charter airline. He’d sleep in strange beds...possibly with strange women? The life of a pilot’s wife was uncertain, lonely...unsecure. That was an experience she could not allow herself to repeat.

  So why, Faith wondered anxiously as she watched Ryan come toward them, his gaze unwavering on her, did Ryan strike her as a veritable mountain of stability? Solid. Enduring.

  When they dropped Mari off at Brigit Kavanaugh’s later, Faith saw two women swaying on the front porch swing and recognized one of them.

  “Would you mind very much if I went and said hello to Brigit?” Faith asked Ryan.

  “No, of course not.”

  Before she got out of the car, she turned toward the backseat. “Did you by chance tell Brigit? About the baby?” she asked Mari.

  Mari shook her head.

  “Thank you. I’d rather not get into it right now, if that’s all right with you?” she asked Ryan.

  “Fine with me,” Ryan stated. Something in his tone told Faith that he couldn’t have agreed more with her decision. She recalled what Mari had said about how she’d expected Ryan to resist going to Brigit’s house la
st Christmas Eve. It couldn’t be easy for him, spending time in the house that was once owned by the man who had killed his parents in a case of involuntary manslaughter. How did he feel about his sister marrying Marc Kavanaugh, Derry Kavanaugh’s oldest son?

  Faith put her concerns on hold when Brigit came to the top of the steps to greet her a moment later, a smile on her face and her arms outstretched. The pretty older woman gave her a warm hug.

  “Imagine my surprise when Mari told me this morning she was having lunch with Faith Holmes!” Brigit exclaimed.

  “I thought the same thing when Ryan mentioned you,” Faith replied happily. She was glad to see Brigit looking so well. She was always attractive and well put together, but Faith had never seen her in such good spirits. She turned and saw the stunning young woman who had come to stand beside her mother, and wondered if Brigit’s glow wasn’t related to her. Brigit had mentioned once that Deidre and she had been estranged since the accident, but here they were, side by side, both of them smiling. The two women were an older and younger version of one another.

  “You must be Deidre,” Faith said, holding out her hand to Brigit’s daughter. “Your mother has told me so much about you. I’m Faith.”

  “It’s nice to meet you,” Deidre said, glancing from Faith to Ryan with friendly curiosity.

  They stayed and chatted for half an hour. When they finally stood to leave, Faith promised to keep in touch with Mari and they exchanged phone numbers.

  “Let Nick know I’ll be calling him next week. I have some important news to discus with him,” Ryan told Deidre as they were leaving. Nick Malone was the CEO of DuBois Enterprises and Deidre’s husband. The Malones had contracted Eagle Air for piloting services for their multibillion-dollar company, but Faith got the impression the couple and Ryan respected and liked each other.

  Deidre’s gaze flickered over Faith when Ryan took her hand as they stood on the stairs. “When do I get to hear this news?” she asked with a teasing grin.

  “You know as well as I do that as soon as I tell Nick, you’ll know, as well,” Ryan grumbled dryly. “But I’ll call you next week, as well.”

  “Good. You know I don’t like to feel left out,” Deidre joked, waving as they walked toward the car.

  “That was nice,” Faith murmured later as they drove back to Holland. “You were right about Mari. She’s wonderful. It was nice to see Brigit, as well.”

  “Yeah. It was. Nice, I mean,” Ryan said. She glanced at him in surprise, his tone had been so steadfast.

  “I had the impression Brigit wasn’t one of your favorite people.”

  “She didn’t used to be,” Ryan admitted, his gaze on the road. “The lawsuits that followed the accident years ago sort of put the Kavanaughs and us on opposite sides of the ring. It wasn’t pretty.”

  “I can only imagine,” Faith said, compassion filling her when she considered what people on all sides must have suffered following such a horrific accident. Ryan glanced at her quickly, a small smile on his face.

  “But I have to admit...seeing how fond Brigit was of you, I have a new respect for her. She was doing what I wanted to do all along—making sure you were okay and safe and sound. I appreciate her in a whole new way for being here and looking out for you.”

  She opened her mouth to remind him she was very capable of looking out for herself, but halted. He’d sounded so warm and thoughtful just now, it was difficult to find fault in what he’d said. Was it really such a terrible thing that he worried about her, even though it was unwarranted? Didn’t that mean he cared...even a little?

  “Would you like to come in?” she asked him when he pulled into her driveway, damning her breathlessness.

  “I would, if you don’t mind,” he said. “I brought my tape measure. I was hoping to get some measurements for the bookcases so that I can start coming up with a sketch for you. We can bounce ideas off that.”

  “That’d be terrific,” she said, watching as he reached in the backseat for a tape measure, ruler and a tablet of paper.

  He immediately went into the nursery-to-be and began working. Faith let Topsy out into the backyard and fed the cats. She walked into the baby’s room a half hour later. Ryan sat on the only chair in the room, the sketchpad open on his spread thighs. She peered over his shoulder at his sketch.

  “It’s just preliminary, but what would you think about something like this?” he asked, his pencil still moving over the paper. He moved aside the ruler to show her what he’d drawn. Fascinated, Faith sunk to her knees next to him, her forearms braced on the arms of his chair.

  “Oh, that’d be amazing, Ryan,” she enthused, admiring the multi-unit shelving and cabinet unit. “I can’t believe you came up with that so quickly. I love it.”

  He waved his pencil over the two corner benches. “These can be used for both sitting and for toy storage, and these cabinets can hold anything from sports equipment to clothing to diapers. Then there’s the book shelves, for displaying things and—”

  “Books. Lots and lots of books.”

  Ryan glanced at her. Their heads were close enough that Faith could easily see the warm gleam in his eyes. She also could smell his clean, spicy scent. She breathed deeper, as if she wanted to absorb it.

  “I’m glad you think books are so important,” he said quietly.

  “Of course I do.”

  She couldn’t pull her gaze off his lips when they twitched in a smile. He leaned closer to her. She couldn’t seem to stop herself from craning closer to him, until their mouths were only inches apart. He still watched her intently. She saw his nostrils flare, as if he was trying to capture her scent as she had his. Her heart stalled, and then began to race.

  “I should have known that learning would be a top priority for a straight-A student.”

  “Don’t forget gym class.”

  “I’m not forgetting anything,” he said before his lips brushed against hers.

  Chapter Seven

  It was more of a gentle, skimming caress than a kiss, as if he was curious as to how her mouth felt and used his own to discover the information. Faith closed her eyes and just experienced him; firm, warm, fragrant flesh sliding and rubbing against her own sensitive, tingling lips. She pressed closer, eager for more of the sensation of him, molding her mouth against his, hungrier now...blindly seeking.

  He put his hand on the back of her head and pierced her lips with his tongue. Excitement knifed through her, sharp and compelling. Her nipples prickled and tightened. A gnawing ache expanded at her core, a feeling she knew from experience that Ryan could build and mount in her flesh...and finally vanquish in a delicious rush of pure pleasure.

  A loud, high-pitched wail penetrated her haze of arousal. Ryan closed their kiss and leaned back slightly, a mixture of alarm and puzzlement on his face.

  “It’s Topsy,” she said in an apologetic tone. She snorted into soft laughter when the comically mournful howling continued. Faith pushed up on the arm of Ryan’s chair and stood. “I’ll just go and get her. I left her out in the yard.”

  “Her Highness doesn’t like to be left waiting,” Ryan said, grinning, although the embers of arousal remained in his eyes.

  Thinking it was best to get some distance from him for a bit, considering how much she’d lost herself in that kiss, Faith busied herself in other rooms for the next several minutes. When she walked down the hallway to her bedroom a while later, Topsy panting after her on her heels, she noticed he was still in the baby’s room, absorbed in his task. She entered her room and closed the door, leaving it open a crack. She quickly undressed and pulled on some jeans. Standing in her opened closet door, she searched for a blouse to wear, her hands skimming over several garments. Her fingers paused on the hanger for her evening dress that she planned to wear for the benefit Wednesday night for the Animal Advocates Alliance.

/>   Impulsively she pulled out the dress and closed her closet door, peering into the mirror on the other side. It was a champagne-colored sleeveless silk number that she’d purchased last October, before she was pregnant. She held up the dress to the front of her body, her brow furrowed in worry. It was a tasteful dress, but more low-cut than Faith typically wore her necklines. She hadn’t considered before—what if her slightly pregnancy-swollen breasts would be too obvious in the dress?

  A knock sounded on her door. She started.

  “Faith?”

  “Yes?”

  Ryan poked his head around the door. Faith’s heart did a flip-flop. She plastered the dress over the front of her. Ryan’s gaze immediately dropped and widened.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—” He paused and cleared his throat. “I was just coming to say goodbye.”

  “Oh, okay. Let me pull something on and I’ll see you out,” she said in a high-pitched voice.

  His glance lowered again. “That’s very pretty,” he said, referring to the evening gown.

  “Thanks. It’s for the ball next Wednesday,” she said, gathering herself a bit. It wasn’t as if he could really see anything, with the dress held up over her mostly bare torso. This is what she told herself, anyway, when he stepped into the room. It struck her how large he appeared to be in her feminine retreat—how male. He came toward her and paused a few feet away, examining the dress.

  “You’ll look fantastic in that,” he said.

  She gave an awkward laugh. “I hope it fits. I was just wondering about that. I bought it when I wasn’t pregnant. I’ll probably be a total disaster.”

  He met her stare. “You won’t be.”

  “How do you know?”

  Instead of answering her, he calmly put his hand on the dress hanger. Faith released it hesitantly when he pulled. He tossed the gown over a nearby chair and put his hands on her shoulders. He turned her so that she faced the mirror and stood behind her.

  Faith couldn’t breathe.