If I Can't Have You (Mills & Boon Spice) Read online

  Colleen nodded. She had a feeling that most surgeons didn’t offer this much bedside attention, and she was thankful.

  She was also a little confused by his solicitation, but she thought she might understand it. Colleen had worked as a social worker in hospitals for most of her adult life. She was familiar with the professional courtesy employees in the medical field extended one another when it came to caring for family members. Besides, thanks to Liam and Natalie’s flourishing romance, Eric and Colleen were related now, in a sense. Colleen had managed to deny that connection in her mind for the past several months as she watched her brother and Eric’s sister growing closer and closer. It seemed impossible to ignore it under these new circumstances, however.

  “Mrs. Kavanaugh,” Eric said politely to her mother, “are you comfortable? Would you like something to drink?”

  Color stained her mother’s pale cheeks. She wondered if it was the first time Eric and her mother had met with anything less than animosity since the courtroom proceedings following the crash. She couldn’t help but feel thankful to him for his kindness.

  “I’m fine,” Brigit said softly, her gaze averted. “Thank you for taking such good care of my grandson.”

  “He’s a strong kid. Smart, too. I had nature on my side as his doctor.” He glanced at Colleen. “I’ll just come back in a short while.”

  “Thanks,” Colleen said.

  She hadn’t meant for the word to come out sounding so pressured…so earnest. Maybe it was his unexpected kindness toward her mother that had made her sound that way. His gaze flickered over her face, and his small smile faded. Their gazes locked. For a split second, she was unguarded. She felt it: that connection that took place whenever she looked—really looked—into his eyes. For the first time, she admitted that jolt of awareness was the reason she’d been so determined to avoid his presence for over a year.

  She glanced away, feeling breathless.

  “Of course,” she heard him say stiffly before he left the room.

  Her mother picked up a magazine and began to leaf through the pages. Colleen suspected she was trying to be tactful by not discussing Eric. What did one say, precisely, in these unusual circumstances?

  The silence stretched, interrupted only by the soft beeps of the IV machine and the distant sound of voices at the nurses’ station. She had nothing to distract her from recalling that charged glance she’d shared with Eric before he’d left the hospital room just now. She couldn’t seem to stop herself from remembering other things, as well…things she’d rather stayed buried, feelings she found highly disrespectful and unsettling, given her love for her husband.

  She didn’t want to remember. Not when her son had just had a surgery.

  Not ever.

  Her undisciplined thoughts kept veering into forbidden territory, however. She couldn’t seem to stop herself from recalling every detail of what had happened on Sunset Beach nearly a year and a half ago. Surely her memory was playing tricks on her.

  There was no way Eric’s body could have felt so hard or fit against her so perfectly. No man alive could possibly taste so good.

  Ridiculous. Impossible, Colleen assured herself heatedly. It was some strange combination of their argument and their volatile history that had made the moment so electric.

  The noise of her mother setting her magazine back on the bedside table started Colleen out of her memories and ruminations.

  She sighed and brushed her son’s bangs off his forehead. Brendan still slept. He’d never let her pet him like this if he was awake, she thought, a familiar small pain going through her.

  She hadn’t set a toe on Sunset Beach for over a year now, despite Eric’s invitation to continue with her swimming routine. She’d been all too happy to forget that bizarre, inexplicable incident. Kissing Eric just didn’t fit in to her safe, known world. When Eric appeared just as eager as she was to ignore what had happened, Colleen had assumed he was as regretful as she was.

  So why had he made a point of reminding her of it yesterday in that examination room?

  Even if they didn’t share a turbulent past, he was the exact type of man Colleen disliked: opinionated, arrogant, bull-headed. Movie-star-caliber good looks could only get a guy so far when they were accompanied by all those less-than-stellar qualities.

  Besides, hadn’t her father used to say Colleen had cornered the market on stubbornness in the Kavanaugh family? It was no wonder she didn’t get along with Eric. They were like repelling magnets. Was that why her heart give a flutter when she heard someone enter the hospital room? She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw the tall man who appeared next to the drawn curtain wasn’t the handsome surgeon.

  “Hey,” she greeted quietly, smiling at her brother, Liam. He was in uniform, and his wavy, light brown hair streaked with gold looked windblown. “Did you walk over from the station?” The Municipal Building, where Liam worked as the chief of police, was only a few blocks from the hospital complex.

  “Yeah, sorry I couldn’t get away sooner. How’s he doing?” Liam asked in a hushed tone as he bent down to give his mother a kiss on the cheek.

  “He’s doing great,” Colleen replied. “Eric says the wound looks clean and that the bone tissue should heal with time. Brendan’s going to have to do some physical therapy, though.”

  “That shouldn’t be too much of a problem. It’d be more of a challenge to keep Brendan still for any extended period,” Liam said, grinning. “Did Eric say what had lodged in his foot?”

  “A rose thorn, of all things,” Brigit murmured, shaking her head.

  It struck her as a little surreal to hear her little brother say Eric’s name so casually. A year ago, he would have said Reyes with a hard edge to his voice and a frosty look in his blue eyes. Now he spoke of him as he would a close friend or family member. Which Eric was, in a way, Colleen conceded. Liam had told her point-blank last month he’d fallen hard for Eric’s sister, Natalie.

  Still, the change in the landscape of her life disoriented her a little. Things had seemed much more comprehensible when Eric Reyes was her enemy, pure and simple.

  No matter. Brendan would be out of the hospital in a few days, and she and Eric could go back to keeping their wary distance from one another.

  Liam sat down, and they talked for a few minutes in hushed tones until they were interrupted by the nurse coming in with a pitcher and some plastic cups.

  “Dr. Reyes says he can have ice water when he wakes up if he wants it,” the nurse told Colleen.

  Brendan’s eyelids flickered at the sound of the nurse’s voice.

  “Mom?” he asked hoarsely, sounding a little anxious and disoriented. Colleen placed her hand on his forearm and squeezed gently.

  “I’m right here, honey,” she soothed.

  He focused on her sitting next to his bedside, and his anxiety immediately vanished. “I’m thirsty,” he said.

  “Perfect timing, kid,” Liam said as Brigit stood to pour him some water. Brendan turned his head on the pillow and returned his uncle’s grin groggily.

  “How are you feeling, Brendan?” Brigit asked.

  “Okay.”

  “Your foot doesn’t hurt?” she asked. As if her words had reminded him, Brendan lifted his head and stared down at his bandaged foot. He groaned, and his head fall back on the pillow.

  “Does that mean yes?” Colleen asked anxiously.

  “It doesn’t hurt, Mom,” Brendan assured, meeting her eyes.

  Colleen loved her son to the ends of the world at the moment. He got exasperated with her mom-worry sometimes, but deep down, he knew how much she loved him.

  “He just saw the bandages and thought of all the boring hours of lying in bed,” Liam said knowingly.

  “Dr. Reyes said I can start moving around lat
er this afternoon. He says it’ll make my foot stronger,” Brendan told Liam between sips of water.

  “Did someone say my name?” Eric asked. The curtained-off portion of the already small space suddenly seemed as crowded as a dorm-room party.

  “Hi,” Brendan said, smiling at Eric. “Did you do a good job on my foot?”

  “Your mom didn’t tell you?” Eric asked.

  “I just woke up,” Brendan said, leading Colleen to believe he didn’t remember much about his groggy transfer from the recovery room to his hospital bed.

  “Then I’ll tell you,” Eric said. “You’re going to be tackling your uncle here by Thanksgiving, because I did a fantastic job.”

  Brendan gave a tired little whoop of celebration.

  Colleen couldn’t help but give a grudging smile as she watched Eric and Liam shake hands in greeting. She had to hand it to him. His cockiness was only exceeded by his charm.

  Brigit and Liam stepped out of the room to give Eric room to examine Brendan, giving Colleen a chance to observe Eric’s easy banter with her son and the way Brendan seemed so comfortable with him.

  “Do you work with kids a lot?” Colleen mused after he’d finished Brendan’s nerve response test, joking and talking with her son and distracting him with the fact that he was gently poking at his exposed toes with a sharp-looking metal instrument.

  “I did my residency in pediatric orthopedic surgery,” Eric said. “When I was hired at Harbor Town Memorial, it was with an understanding that I’d be serving both adults and children, though.”

  “Why did you decide to come back to Harbor Town when you could have worked in a larger hospital and just focused on children?” Colleen asked, puzzled. It suddenly struck her that she really knew absolutely nothing about him. Eric opened his mouth to respond but was interrupted.

  “Hi, Brendan. Hey, Colleen.” Colleen looked around to see Natalie Reyes, Eric’s sister, peering around the curtain hesitantly. Eric glanced at Natalie and then back at Colleen. Suddenly, Colleen had her answer. He’d sacrificed some of his personal goals because he’d felt a fraternal responsibility toward his younger sister.

  Natalie must have come from her office, because she wore an attractive chocolate-brown suit that highlighted her svelte figure and dark eyes.

  “Should I come back later?” she asked.

  “No, I’m all finished. My patient gets perfect marks,” Eric said. He walked over and gave his sister a peck on the cheek. Colleen noticed that Brendan’s eyes went wide at the gesture. He looked stunned that his newly acquired friend had just done something as treasonous as kiss his uncle’s girl right in front of him. Eric must have noticed, because he grinned.

  “Natalie is my sister, Brendan.” He threw Colleen a quick, wry glance. “I see no one told you that, either.”

  “Well, I’m sorry! It never came up. We were thinking about other things, like emergency surgeries,” Colleen said defensively.

  “Natalie is your sister?” Brendan asked.

  Natalie smiled and nodded.

  “Didn’t the same last name ring any bells?” Eric asked, chuckling at Brendan’s continued wide-eyed stare of amazement.

  Brendan grinned and shook his head.

  “Liam told me you’re doing really well, Brendan,” Natalie said.

  “I’m okay. Just sleepy,” Brendan said before he grimaced slightly. “And a little…”

  “What?” Colleen asked.

  “Sick to your stomach?” Eric asked from behind her.

  “A little,” Brendan admitted.

  Colleen glanced around at Eric. He obviously read her concern, because he gave her a small smile.

  “It’s normal to be groggy and a little nauseous after the anesthesia. I’ll have the nurse bring in some soda and crackers. Then Brendan can take a nice long nap.”

  Natalie walked out of the room with her brother while Colleen stayed with Brendan, who was having trouble keeping his eyes open. Eric returned a few minutes later. He hadn’t just told a nurse to bring something to soothe Brendan’s stomach. He’d brought the items himself.

  “I really didn’t expect you to do all this,” Colleen said in a hushed tone as she stared at Brendan’s sleeping face. He had drunk half a cup of soda and eaten two crackers. He’d said his stomach felt better before he’d promptly fallen asleep.

  “Why do you sound so surprised?”

  Colleen blinked and turned around from where she was sitting at the edge of Brendan’s bed. She’d been surprised, all right—by the nearness of Eric’s quiet, gruff voice, not by his solicitation. He stood a foot or so behind her. Her face was at the level of his abdomen. Her gaze flickered up the length of his scrubs. His eyes gleamed in his shadowed face as he looked down at her. She found it impossible to break his stare. The moment stretched.

  Her heart seemed to stall in her chest as he reached to touch her cheek.

  Chapter Two

  “Is he sleeping?” a woman whispered from behind them. Colleen started out of her trance, feeling like she’d been caught in an illicit act, which was ridiculous. She self-consciously brushed at her cheek with her fingertips, feeling nothing but her heated skin. There must be something there, though. Surely Eric had just been about to innocently remove some dust or dirt from her face.

  Natalie peered at them next to the drawn curtain. Something about the hopeful, hesitant expression on her delicate features made Colleen forget her unease.

  “Yes,” Colleen replied.

  “I…I was wondering if Liam and I could speak to you two?” Natalie asked.

  She glanced up at Eric, who looked just as confused as Colleen felt, then back at Natalie. “Us? Together?”

  Natalie nodded. “Maybe we can talk down in the waiting room at the end of the hall? There’s something important we’d like to discuss with both of you,” she whispered, a trembling smile on her lips. Colleen couldn’t quite interpret her expression. Was it excitement? Or anxiety?

  “Sure,” Colleen said more confidently than she felt. She turned to Brigit, who had just re-entered the room. “Mom, could you stay with Brendan while we run down to the waiting area? I could use a soda. I’ll be back in just a bit.”

  Brigit agreed, and Colleen, Natalie and Eric filed out of the room. When they reached the waiting area, she saw Liam was the only other occupant. Natalie sat next to him, and Eric and Colleen took seats just across from the couple.

  “We could do this another time if you’re uninterested, Eric,” Natalie said, her mouth settling into a grim line that didn’t at all match her lovely, delicate features. Looking at Eric, Colleen realized his expression had turned cold. Hard. As she glanced back and forth between their stubborn faces, Colleen realized just how much brother and sister resembled one another. Two identical pairs of eyes shot sparks back and forth.

  What the heck? Colleen thought. She’d only really gotten to know Natalie over the last several months, but she’d never once seen her any way but even-tempered and pleasant. Leave it to Eric to be the one to instigate this unlikely reaction in a paragon of virtue like Natalie. Still…why had Natalie’s suggestion about their meeting turned Eric into a glaring block of ice?

  “I didn’t say I was uninterested,” Eric said.

  “Fine,” Natalie replied, her eyebrows still arched in a challenge.

  Colleen didn’t get what was going on here, but she had a long history with brothers. Marc and Liam were fantastic, but she and her sister, Deidre, had learned long ago the importance of banding together in the face of male arrogance. Eric remained turned in profile to her, but she could almost feel his disapproval like a cold breeze. Yes, this was the Eric Reyes she knew—the man who had turned brooding into an art form.

  “Anybody want a soda?” Liam asked, standing.

 
“What did you want to talk to us about?” Colleen asked Liam immediately once he’d handed them their drinks and sat down again.

  “We were going to take you two to lunch separately—someplace nice—to break the news, but then Brendan got admitted into the hospital and our plans had to be changed. I suggested we get in the squad car, turn on the sirens and use the bullhorn to spread the news to everyone in Harbor Town, but Natalie wouldn’t let me. Spoilsport.”

  “Liam,” Natalie remonstrated with a smile and a slap on his arm that turned into a caress. They both were glowing. Liam stared at Natalie, grinning, and suddenly they were kissing.

  “Wait,” Colleen said, the truth slowly dawning. “You two aren’t… You’re not…”

  “We’re getting married,” Liam said in a perfunctory manner before he leaned down to kiss Natalie again.

  Natalie’s laugh before she was silenced by Liam’s kiss was clear and musical, the very sound of happiness. Colleen just sat there holding her unopened can of soda, dumbfounded.

  “But you haven’t even known each other for four months now,” she said, even though Liam and Natalie looked far too busy to be listening.

  “Not even three,” Eric corrected morosely from beside her.

  Colleen did give him a quelling glance that time. He lifted one raven-dark brow and levelly returned her sardonic stare. The fact that he could look as handsome as the devil when he was being such a jerk really steamed her.

  In truth, she felt torn. The last thing she wanted to do was agree with Eric on something—anything—but she did feel that Liam and Natalie were being rash. Surely it was too soon in their relationship to decide on marriage. She and Darin had engaged in a whirlwind love affair before they’d married. They’d been young and foolish, and wild to be together before he was deployed to the Persian Gulf for his first tour of duty. Colleen wouldn’t have changed that decision for anything, given the way things had turned out, but at this point in her life, she recognized they hadn’t exactly behaved wisely.

  Then there was the news of what she’d learned about her own parents several months ago. She’d always assumed her parents were the ideal couple. She’d considered their marriage inviolate. Recent events had proved her wrong.