If I Trust You (If You Come Back To Me #4) Read online

  Marc’s head came around.

  “You and Dad always had a special bond,” Marc said. “The tragedy was, Dad never lived to come to terms with the truth and recognize you would always be his daughter. Always.”

  “Do you think he would have eventually understood that?” Deidre asked in a hushed tone.

  “I have no doubt,” Marc said firmly. “Did I ever tell you that Dad and I had a stupid argument before he died? We fought about where I should go to law school. For a few years afterward, I was haunted by the idea that a petty fight was our last interaction. Did he die with anger in his heart toward me? Over time, I’ve realized the insignificant spats of a minute or a day can’t begin to diminish the ocean of love a parent has for a child. Having Riley assured me of that.” He met Deidre’s gaze. “You were Derry Kavanaugh’s daughter. That was what was truly in his heart when he died. That, and all his love for you.”

  Deidre sniffed. Marc smiled and dug in his pocket for a handkerchief. He handed it to her, but when he didn’t immediately relinquish it, she looked into his face.

  “Lincoln DuBois was a wonderful man, too, from all I’ve gathered,” Marc said. “I imagine if we had the ability to see into his heart, we’d see that you were his daughter, as well. You’ve experienced a lot of heartache and loss in your life, Dee. I know it hurts, losing both Derry and Lincoln. But in the end, they were both your fathers.”

  A tremor of emotion shuddered through her. Marc was right. She’d always considered herself to be the odd child out, different, fatherless.

  But in reality, she’d been blessed with two wonderful fathers...and a mother who loved her very much.

  Deidre took the handkerchief and patted her damp cheeks. “You know what?” she asked as she stood. “I just made a decision about something.”

  “What?”

  “I’m going back to Harbor Town.”

  Marc blinked. “To Sycamore Avenue?”

  Deidre nodded, drying the tears off her cheeks one last time, and handed back the handkerchief. “Yes, but to the Starling Hotel first. I’m hoping Nick is still there, and that he forgives me for acting so...”

  She faded off at the sound of people entering the front door. A moment later, Mari entered the living room followed by her older brother, Ryan.

  “Merry Christmas,” Ryan said.

  “Merry Christmas!” Deidre went over to greet them, going up on her tiptoes to give Ryan a hug after not seeing him for half a lifetime.

  “You and Mari are just alike,” Deidre told Ryan warmly when they parted and inspected each other. “I wouldn’t have thought she could get more beautiful, just like I wouldn’t have thought you could get more handsome. You both had to go and prove me wrong.”

  “I can’t believe it,” Ryan said, looking down at her with a teasing glint in his dark eyes. “Is this the same little girl with braces and a perpetual skinned knee who used to rise to every one of Marc’s and my dares?”

  “Always used to top you guys doing them, too,” Deidre shot back, noticing when Marc and Ryan shared a grin. She winked at Mari. Maybe this Christmas would be the one where the two men finally found a new path to friendship.

  “Deidre was just telling me she’s going back to Harbor Town,” Marc said.

  “What?” Mari asked, her smile fading.

  “I’m so sorry, Mari. Would you mind very much? It’s just that...” She waved her hand lamely. “I suddenly realized that Harbor Town is where I should be this Christmas Eve.”

  “I started thinking, maybe we should head that way, too,” Marc said, looking from Ryan to Mari. “The family will be there. It’d be a good opportunity to break our news,” he said, giving Mari a significant glance. “What do you two think?”

  Mari’s mouth opened in amazement. “Well, I’m sure Ryan doesn’t want to go to Harbor Town—”

  “I’d like to go,” Ryan said.

  Deidre, Marc and Mari all glanced at Ryan in amazement. The circumstances of Ryan’s last Harbor Town visit, and his encounter with the Kavanaughs, had not been pleasant.

  “Are you sure?” Mari murmured.

  “Yeah,” Ryan said firmly. “There’s something important I need to do in the area. I was planning to go back to Michigan on this visit. Might as well be tonight.”

  Mari’s bewildered expression faded as she checked her watch. “Well, we could make it if we hurry, I guess.”

  Deidre beamed. “I need to go pack and get on the road, then. I’ll meet you guys at Mom’s? I have to make a quick stop at Cedar Cottage first.” She paused to touch her brother’s arm. Words wouldn’t suffice. She smiled her profound thanks at Marc before she rushed upstairs, her heart racing at the prospect of seeing Nick again.

  But would he still be in Harbor Town?

  * * *

  Several hours later, Brigit approached Nick, who stood next to the glowing Kavanaugh Christmas tree. Deidre’s mother looked very pretty wearing a dark green dress and an anxious, excited expression.

  “She’ll be here soon,” Brigit assured him, referring to Deidre.

  Marc, Mari, Riley and Ryan Itani had arrived on Sycamore Avenue fifteen minutes ago, giving the gathered family a wonderful Christmas surprise. Brigit had been visibly moved by the news that her eldest daughter had decided to join the family for the first time in years.

  Nick thought he’d been just as affected by the news, even if he hadn’t showed it like Brigit had.

  He’d reluctantly agreed to come to Brigit’s for Christmas Eve when she’d called, but now he was having serious doubts. He had no reason to believe Deidre would be happy about his unexpected presence at a family gathering.

  “I’m worried about those reporters I’ve been giving the slip,” he said quietly to Brigit “They’ve gotten wind of the fact that a big story is about to break at DuBois Enterprises. So far they don’t seem to be attaching any significance to Deidre, but I wouldn’t be surprised at anything at this point,” he added under his breath, thinking of John Kellerman. It’d undoubtedly been Kellerman who had leaked the story about Nick being in Harbor Town, trying to put pressure on Nick to make a final decision in regard to the will and possibly to embarrass Nick by putting his and Deidre’s relationship in the limelight.

  “I’m sure she’ll be fine. Marc was just telling me Deidre might arrive a little later than them. She wanted to stop somewhere first, but Marc didn’t say—”

  Everyone in the crowded living room glanced toward the foyer when they heard the front door opening. Nick instinctively took a step toward the hallway, but forced himself to pause when he recalled that Deidre wouldn’t be thrilled at all to see him at a homecoming that was already bound to be emotionally trying for her.

  Colleen ducked out of the room to meet her sister. A moment later, Deidre appeared in the opened French doors, her face alight as she gazed at her family members assembled in the large, festively decorated living room.

  Her gaze landed on Nick and stuck.

  A few seconds stretched. He’d never seen anything so amazing in his life as the sight of Deidre standing there in a regal red dress, all vestiges of the defiant, fierce waif gone, in their place a poised, stunning woman. But no—it wasn’t the dress that had made the change. It was the light of hope and forgiveness in her eyes as she stared at him.

  Time unstuck. Brigit rushed toward her daughter. Deidre’s hug seemed every bit as loving as her mother’s. Nick remained standing between the Christmas tree and fireplace, watching as Deidre exclaimed in excitement upon seeing Natalie and Liam—both of them tanned from their honeymoon and grinning from ear to ear—and hugged them enthusiastically. She hugged Brendan and Jenny next, her eyes going wide as though she’d remembered something at the sight of the children. She left the living room and returned a moment later with a large bag filled with Christmas gifts.

  �
��Will you put these under the tree?” she asked the children, smiling.

  Brendan gladly relieved her of her burden while Brigit bustled into the kitchen to get Deidre some hot cider. Deidre straightened and smoothed her dress, her gaze immediately finding Nick’s. Her sloping shoulders gleamed in the luminescent Christmas lights as she came toward him. He experienced a strong urge to feel the heat from her smooth, flushed cheeks beneath his fingertips.

  He couldn’t take his eyes off her. Colleen, who had walked up to her sister to talk, glanced over to where Deidre stared at him fixedly and turned away, unnoticed by Deidre.

  “Hi,” Deidre said, her lips trembling slightly.

  “Hi. Merry Christmas,” Nick said.

  “Merry Christmas.”

  Her eyes shone like beacons. He opened his mouth to speak, and so did she, but Brigit chose that moment to come toward them with a cup of steaming hot cider.

  “I’ve laid dinner out on the sideboard, buffet-style,” Brigit told Deidre.

  “Just like when we were kids,” Deidre murmured, taking a sip of her cider.

  “Come on, you must be starved,” Brigit urged, taking her hand.

  Nick was heartened to see Deidre hesitate and glance back at him.

  “Your mother has already fed me. I’ll wait for you here,” he said, damning the crowd of people and surrounding festivities, but glad to see Deidre’s hand entwined with her mother’s.

  “Okay,” Deidre replied, granting him that small smile that always pierced straight through him to someplace deep.

  He inhaled slowly and reminded himself to be patient. This was an important night in Deidre’s life, and he couldn’t be selfish and whisk her aside to assure himself that was truly forgiveness he saw shining in her lovely eyes.

  Even if that’s precisely what he wanted to do.

  * * *

  A half an hour later, Deidre stood next to Nick by the Christmas tree. He’d asked her if she’d wanted to sit down when she’d returned from eating, but Deidre had shaken her head. Her heart felt full. She was content just to stand next to Nick, watching her entire family as they chatted and joked and ate cake while Christmas music played in the background. She was happy to see that Ryan Itani seemed comfortable enough, chatting with Eric, Brendan and Colleen. Even Nick and he had spoken for a spell about their common experience as ex–air force pilots.

  She stepped closer to the silent, somber man who stood next to her, her shoulder brushing against his upper arm. Her heart hitched when he put his arm around her waist.

  They looked at one another, and it was as if they shared a mutual, unspoken message.

  Later.

  Following Kavanaugh Christmas tradition, Brendan, Jenny and Riley were allowed to open one gift beneath the tree. Much to the children’s regret—perhaps Riley’s most of all—the rest of the gifts would have to wait until Christmas Day.

  “May I have everyone’s attention please?” Eric Reyes called once they’d cleaned up the discarded wrapping paper. He walked into the room carrying a bottle of champagne. Colleen was behind him with a tray of flutes. Brendan and Jenny followed, Jenny holding a plate of what looked like chocolate truffles and Brendan with a towel comically draped over his forearm like a waiter. Colleen and Eric set down their loads.

  “The four of us have an announcement we’d like to make,” Eric said, putting his arm around Colleen. Jenny giggled in irrepressible excitement. Deidre glanced up at Nick in bewilderment and dawning pleasure.

  “Brendan, do you want to start?” Eric asked the twelve-year-old boy.

  Brendan nodded, taking a deep breath. “Eric asked Jenny and I for permission for Mom’s hand and to become our father.”

  “And we said yes!” Jenny piped up excitedly.

  “And then he remembered to ask me about the whole thing, and I said yes, too,” Colleen added, looking at Eric with laughter and profound love in her eyes. “So I guess it’s official all around. We’re going to become a family!”

  An uproar ensued. Everyone converged on the couple to offer their congratulations. Nick and Deidre accepted a glass of champagne and joined in a toast. The living room was filled with Christmas music and happy chatter. From the periphery of her vision, Deidre noticed Marc and Mari share a meaningful smile. Mari set her champagne glass on the coffee table.

  “Wait...” Deidre said slowly. “Marc and Mari—you two said you had something you wanted to announce here tonight, as well. What is it?”

  Mari laughed and shook her head. “It’ll wait for another time.”

  Colleen stared at Mari’s discarded champagne flute. “Mari, are you pregnant again?” she blurted out, her blue-green eyes wide.

  Ryan leaned forward to look at his sister, his brow creased. “What’s this? You’re going to have a baby?” he asked.

  Laughter escaped Mari’s throat as she stared at Colleen and Ryan in amazement.

  “Colleen, we didn’t want to take the shine off yours and Eric’s amazing news—”

  “So you are pregnant?” Deidre demanded.

  Mari glanced from expectant face to expectant face and finally looked at her husband. Marc just shrugged.

  “Well...yes,” Mari said.

  Another uproar ensued. After everyone had gotten over their exclamations and congratulations, they basked in the glow of their good fortune. Brigit put her arm around Deidre, so that she was bracketed by her mother on one side and Nick on the other.

  “This has to be the most wonderful Christmas ever. All this wonderful news—and you’re here, Deidre, hearing it. Maybe that’s the most wonderful news of all,” Brigit said quietly to Deidre, her heart in her eyes.

  Deidre stepped back and located a small, dark red foil package from beneath the tree. She handed it to Brigit.

  “What’s this?” Brigit asked. “The adults don’t open gifts until tomorrow, you know that.”

  “I have a lot of making up to do in the gift-giving department for a lot of Christmases, so I didn’t think it could wait a night longer. Merry Christmas, Mom. It’s from Lincoln. And Nick and I.”

  Nick glanced at her in surprise. Deidre smiled. Tears brimmed in Brigit’s blue eyes as she unwrapped the package with trembling fingers. Everyone in the room paused to watch. Brigit gasped when she withdrew the exquisite diamond brooch of the horse in full gallop.

  “Oh...it’s Lily DuBois’s brooch of Gallant Hunter,” Brigit cried, tears spilling down her cheek.

  Deidre started in surprise. “You recognize it?”

  Brigit nodded, her throat convulsing with emotion. “You forget, I grew up with Lincoln. I remember when Gallant Hunter was inducted into the Racing Hall of Fame. I saw Lily wearing this brooch on several occasions. Oh, but you should have it, Deidre. It belonged to your grandmother,” Brigit insisted.

  Deidre grabbed her mother’s wrist when she tried to hand it back to her. She folded Brigit’s hand over the brooch. “No. I want you to have it. Lincoln would have wanted that. I just know it.”

  “I agree completely,” Nick said.

  Deidre took the brooch and pinned it to her mother’s dress, where it sparkled brilliantly next to the dark green fabric. “There. Perfect.”

  Brigit hugged her with feeling. Deidre closed her eyes and inhaled the familiar scent of her mother’s perfume. She’d wondered and worried what the wise choice was in regard to her mother. Because of the feeling that swelled in her at that moment, Deidre knew without a doubt that forgiveness had been the supremely right thing.

  When mother and daughter broke from their hug, Deidre kept her arm around Brigit’s waist and put the other around Nick. He leaned down and spoke into her ear, his deep, gruff voice causing a shiver of pleasure to go through her.

  “You’re something else, do you know that?”

  She looked up at him and met
his stare. “I was so glad to see you when I walked in,” she whispered. “You never did tell me how you ended up here tonight.”

  Nick nodded in the direction of her mother and spoke very quietly. “Brigit and I ran into each other getting coffee at Celino’s this morning. When she heard you’d left town, I think she took pity on me. Maybe she thought we could suffer together instead of apart, knowing you’d likely be gone on Christmas Eve.”

  Deidre took in his features, cherishing every one. Then she swept her gaze across her family.

  She saw Liam nuzzle Natalie’s cheek until she turned to face him. “Merry Christmas, wife,” Deidre heard him murmur before he kissed Natalie.

  Marc took the opportunity of the lull in the conversation to kiss Mari with feeling. At the same moment, Eric dipped his head down to his new fiancée’s upturned face.

  “There’s mistletoe back there on the chandelier,” Brigit said confidentially to Deidre and Nick, nodding a few feet behind them. “It seems to have very good effect, even from a distance.” Brigit gave them a droll smile and left the room.

  Deidre was left looking up at Nick.

  “Merry Christmas,” she whispered before she went up on her toes and touched her mouth to his, praying he understood the volumes of unspoken words that accompanied her kiss.

  Epilogue

  When they left that night, Nick convinced Deidre to leave her car at her mother’s since they’d return there the following morning for Christmas Day. The tension between them mounted as they drove through a picturesque Harbor Town. The little community might have been placed under a spell. It was silent and seemed to sparkle with Christmas magic.

  Of course that special gleam that gilded the entire world might have been projected by Deidre herself, she felt so happy.

  “Aren’t we going to Cedar Cottage?” Deidre asked when Nick turned onto Main Street instead of continuing on Travertine Drive.

  “No. I thought we’d go to the hotel, if you don’t mind. There’s something there I need to get. The only problem is,” he said as he turned into the Starling Hotel parking lot, “you might have to join me in a little cloak-and-dagger routine to avoid the reporters that have been gathering here. They keep thinking I’ll spill the truth about the will if they pounce on me hard enough. We’ll take the stairs up to my suite.”