If I Trust You (Mills & Boon Spice) Read online

  “Hi.”

  She blushed furiously when she noticed his stare run over her from brow to toe. His expression looked flat...stunned? She couldn’t have felt more exposed than if she had answered the door stark naked.

  He entered and she shut the door. She hastened to get her coat and cover up the dress. He halted her by grabbing her hand and pulling her into his arms.

  “You look outrageously beautiful,” he said with quiet intensity.

  “Thank you,” she whispered. “You look nice, too.”

  A puzzled expression flickered across his face. “Am I being punished for leaving a note this morning?”

  Deidre blinked in surprise. “Punished? No, of course not. What do you mean?”

  “You seem kind of distant,” he said, his gaze scanning her face. “I thought maybe you were mad about the note. I’m sorry—I really did think it was better to let you sleep. I wanted to wake you up. Trust me on that.”

  She flushed in pleasure.

  “Oh, no. I’m not upset by that at all.” When he just continued to study her somberly, Deidre felt she should explain. “I’m just a little...embarrassed.”

  He quirked one eyebrow. Deidre became distracted by the sensation of him lightly circling her hips in his palms. “Why are you embarrassed?”

  She ducked her head. “I don’t usually wear dresses like this, that’s all. I hadn’t realized when I borrowed it from Colleen it was quite so...”

  “Sexy as hell?” Her gaze shot up to his. A small grin tugged at his mouth. “It only is because you’re in it.”

  She gave a shaky smile.

  “Deidre?”

  “Yes?”

  “I’ve been looking forward to seeing you again ever since I shut your bedroom door this morning. I was sort of hoping for a little bit more of a warm welcome, after last night,” he murmured, pulling her closer.

  “Were you?” she asked softly, her embarrassment fading to mist. Feeling Nick next to her made her forget almost everything. She went up on her toes, letting her body slide against his. His nostrils flared slightly as he stared down at her. His hold on her hips tightened and suddenly she was airborne. He sat her on the kitchen counter and swooped down to kiss her.

  And what a kiss.

  It was so hot, so demanding she felt a delicious sensation curl tight in the pit of her stomach and tickle the tips of her breasts. He brought her closer. She looped her arms around his neck and kissed him back with all the passion he’d awakened in her last night.

  A minute later, he sealed their kiss and pressed his forehead to hers. Deidre panted softly, inhaling his aromatic aftershave.

  “Was that more of what you had in mind for a welcome?” she asked.

  “Yeah, but it might have been a little too good,” he mumbled as he plucked at her lips. “Do you want to skip dinner?”

  She ran her fingers through the hair at his collar and slid her lips next to his sensually. “Okay. But you might never see me dressed up like this again.”

  He paused in his kissing. “I can’t wait to get you out of the dress, to be honest. But maybe you’re right,” he said grimly before he lifted her and set her feet back on the ground. He kissed her once on the forehead and once on the lips. “Come on, let’s go. Before I change my mind.”

  “Are you sure?” Deidre asked when he turned to get her coat.

  “No. But what kind of a heel would I be if I took you straight to bed after all the trouble you took dressing for dinner?”

  “I really don’t care,” Deidre admitted as he slid on her coat.

  “I do,” he said simply before he opened the door for her and took her hand.

  * * *

  “How are we doing?” Nick asked her after the waiter had cleared the remains of their dinner and served them coffee. They sat in an intimate booth. The candle on the table flickered in the reflection from the windowpane next to them.

  “How are we doing with what?” Deidre wondered.

  “How are we doing with ignoring everything but each other’s company?”

  She smiled as she poured a splash of cream into her coffee. “I’d say we’re doing fantastic. I’m having a wonderful time,” she said, meaning it. Nick was excellent company—smart without being overbearing, an encyclopedia of knowledge and experience, funny in a no-nonsense, dry sort of way, extremely handsome in his well-cut suit and tie. He’d listened intently while she’d described her meeting with her mother that morning. It surprised her a little that she ended up telling him much more about the emotional encounter than she had Colleen.

  She studied him from beneath lowered lashes as she stirred her coffee. Could a woman sustain herself solely by eating up the vision of his rugged male glory? She mused. She was quite sure she wasn’t the first woman to wonder such a thing.

  He did a double take when he noticed her grin.

  “Why the smile?”

  She shrugged and took a sip of her coffee. “Colleen showed me some photos online of you at charity events and so forth.”

  “I’m hardly a society butterfly. Those damn photographers would spring up on me on the way to the office mail room if I gave them the opportunity,” he mumbled, looking a little sheepish at her choice of topic.

  She hid her smile. “I couldn’t help but notice that none of the women you were escorting ever showed up more than once.”

  He raised his eyebrows. “Oh. So you’re wondering if I ever get serious about a woman, is that it?”

  She met his gaze across the table. “I’m getting the impression you’re one of the Great Uncatchables.”

  He stared out the window. For the first time since she’d known him, she got the impression Nick was uncomfortable. “I’ve had a couple relationships that fit into the ‘serious’ category.”

  “What went wrong?” she asked with a small, mischievous smile.

  “Nothing at all. The relationships just weren’t meant to be in the long run.” He leaned back and placed his arm along the back of the booth, examining her. “Are you ribbing me?”

  She laughed, taken aback by his blunt question. His mouth tilted in amusement. Seeing his smile caused a rush of warmth to go through her.

  “Believe it or not, I am. I tend to tease a lot. You’ve only been a witness to my grouchy side in the past, unfortunately.”

  His smile lingered on his lips. “I used to hear you sometimes before I’d enter Linc’s room and you were with him,” he said quietly. “I was a little shocked that the prickly female I always seemed to encounter was the same teasing, charming one I heard talking to Linc.”

  Their gazes clung.

  “I’ll admit to being a little jealous,” he said. “What about you though. I’ve sort of gotten the impression you’re one of the Great Uncatchables yourself.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” she said, laughing. She toyed with her water goblet. “There was one man,” she admitted after a pause.

  His smile faded.

  “You don’t know about him?” she asked cautiously. “I thought maybe from your background investigation...”

  He frowned and tossed his napkin onto the table. “I recall two or three names of men you’d dated, but the man who reported to me didn’t make it sound like anything serious. I didn’t realize that only one of the men would have qualified as an answer to my question,” he replied.

  “His name was David Sandoff. He was a navy surgeon. And as it turned out, he didn’t really qualify as a serious relationship at all.”

  “What makes you say that?”

  “Oh, probably the fact that I found out he had a fiancée in Brooklyn the whole time he was with me,” she said, smiling ruefully. She glanced up from fiddling with her dessert fork.

  “What an ass,” he said.

  “You took the words right
out of my mouth,” she murmured, flattered by his irritation. “It was all for the best. My dramatic discovery coincided with my tour of duty ending in Afghanistan. I moved to Germany days later,” she said, shaking her head in disgust at the memory.

  “Do you think if he hadn’t been an unfaithful jerk, something might have come from the relationship?”

  She shrugged. “I doubt it, to be honest. My brother Marc says I have wanderlust. I don’t like to stay in one place too long.”

  “You don’t want to settle down,” he clarified.

  She looked at him. “People usually want to settle down in a place they can call home.”

  For a moment, neither of them spoke.

  “You have The Pines now to call home,” he said quietly. “You have Harbor Town, too, if you choose it. It sounds to me like your mother would agree with me on that.”

  She gave a polite smile as the waiter approached with their dessert, glad for the distraction to mask her uncertainty.

  It was a clear, cold night when they left the restaurant. Stars packed the night sky. Nick asked her if she was up for a drive, and Deidre agreed. They coasted down Buena Vista Drive, admiring the Christmas lights on the luxurious lakefront homes. Afterward, they went past the harbor and down Main Street, where cheerful lights and festive decorations adorned the park, shops and lampposts. Deidre was so comfortable in their conversation, it took her a moment to realize where Nick was turning a few minutes later.

  “Oh...wait. This is Sycamore Avenue,” she exclaimed. “You’re not planning on—”

  “It’s a pretty street. I like these old, established neighborhoods,” he said, driving the car at a snail’s pace. “I thought a trip down Sycamore Avenue might coax a memory or two from you. It’ll help me to get to know you better.” She caught the gleam in his eyes when he glanced over at her reprovingly. “Don’t worry. I’m not taking you to your mom’s. I wouldn’t share you tonight with anyone in the world.”

  “Okay,” Deidre said, relieved Nick wasn’t suggesting they march up and knock at her mother’s front door. She was getting more comfortable with the idea of spending time with Brigit, but the idea of entering the house again intimidated her for some reason. “You really want to accompany me on a trip down memory lane?” she asked with a doubtful grin.

  “Maybe not a whole trip, but a few snippets might be nice.”

  She chuckled and glanced out the window. Sycamore Avenue looked like the front of a Christmas card on the frosty night. All of the neighbors who had decorated must have decided communally to use white lights and fresh greenery.

  She leaned forward and pointed through the front window at the wooded cul de sac at the end of the street. “There’s an entrance to Sycamore Avenue Beach and the lakefront walk just through there. My brothers and sister and I practically camped out on the beach there during the summer. We dreaded the sound of our parents calling us home for dinner. Every August all the Sycamore Avenue neighbors used to gather for a huge barbecue down at the beach. My dad always manned an enormous grill, and the neighbor ladies gave him everything to cook from hamburgers to shish kebab to fresh vegetables out of their gardens. Mari’s father—Mr. Itani—made enough homemade ice cream to make us kids think we’d died and gone to heaven. He’d always try to surprise us with at least one exotic new flavor a year. My favorite was pistachio, so he made it for me every August. He was such a sweet man.” She smiled wistfully in memory. “At dusk, the adults would dance on the beach. My parents were always the best dancers of all,” she added, surprising herself when she heard the note of pride in her voice.

  She pointed to the left of the street. “That was my friend Grace Schetel’s house, and there’s Mari’s family’s old house.”

  “No old boyfriends used to live on Sycamore?”

  She shook her head with mock somberness. “No such luck.”

  He chuckled. “There’s a story there, I’m thinking.”

  “I had a huge, unrequited crush on Mari’s older brother, Ryan. But that was nothing unusual. Half the girls in Harbor Town did.” They slowly approached the attractive white, colonial revival house on the right. She pointed to her mother’s house. “There’s the summer house. My bedroom was the corner one facing the street. I think I spent almost two entire weeks during my thirteenth summer in that window there, staring down Sycamore Avenue, waiting for Ryan Itani to come home on his motorcycle. I was heartbroken he didn’t know I existed.”

  Nick gave her a wry sideways glance. “I find it hard to believe a guy didn’t know you existed.”

  “Quite a normal phenomenon for a skinny as a rail thirteen-year-old girl, trust me,” Deidre assured, grinning.

  Nick turned the sedan off Sycamore Avenue a few minutes later. Deidre reached out and touched his thigh.

  “Thanks,” she said when he glanced over at her.

  “For what?”

  “For reminding me that while there are a lot of sad memories associated with that street, there were even more wonderful ones.”

  As they returned to Cedar Cottage, Deidre coaxed him into talking about his parents.

  “They’re all good memories of your mom and dad, even though they died when you were so young,” she said later as they pulled into the driveway. “You’re lucky in that aspect.”

  “I am,” Nick agreed as he put the car in Park.

  “Is that part of why you didn’t want Lincoln to become a true father figure to you? Out of loyalty to your real father?” she asked in a hushed tone.

  He kept his face turned in profile. “Maybe.”

  “It’s confusing, isn’t it?” she asked in a burst of honesty. “I feel so guilty at times, disloyal to my dad—Derry, I mean—because I wanted to know Lincoln so much. I feel guilty in regard to Lincoln, too. He might have been hurt if he knew when I think of ‘Dad’ I automatically think of Derry.”

  “I can’t speak for Derry, but as far as Linc goes, I bet he would have understood completely.”

  Deidre nodded. “He had a huge heart,” she murmured, thinking of what her mother had told her about Lincoln. “I wish my heart was so forgiving.”

  She turned when Nick touched her, sliding her chin into the palm of his hand. He caressed her ear with his fingertips. A powerful surge of sexual awareness went through her at his touch.

  “I wouldn’t sell yourself short on that,” he said gruffly. “Even the most generous of hearts needs time to heal.”

  “Thank you,” she whispered. “After seeing Mom today, I’m feeling a little more optimistic about things. Like...maybe the hardest part is over.”

  He touched his lips to hers. Deidre closed her eyes and ran her fingers through his hair. The kiss started slowly, their mouths teasing and molding. Nick’s teeth lightly scraped at her lower lip and she sighed.

  His tongue slid into her mouth and she was lost.

  “Do you want to come inside?” she whispered shakily a minute later as he pressed his hot mouth to her neck.

  “I thought you’d never ask,” he replied.

  Chapter Eight

  Once they were inside the cottage, Nick whipped his coat off and draped it on a kitchen chair. Deidre was trying to unbutton her coat when he interrupted her by cradling her jaw in both of his hands and lifting her face. He seized her mouth in a searing kiss.

  “I couldn’t stop thinking about you all day long,” he said a moment later as he helped her draw her coat off her arms. He laid it on top of his, took her hand and led her out of the kitchen.

  “I couldn’t stop thinking about you, either,” Deidre admitted as she followed him. When they reached the bedroom, Nick switched on the bedside lamp to its dimmest setting. He drew her in front of him and began to unzip her dress. His breath came in uneven puffs of warm air against her neck.

  “I hope you don’t think this is crass,” he
mumbled as he brushed the dress over her shoulders, “but this first time might be short and sweet. I feel like the past twelve hours has been ten years, waiting to touch you again.” He groaned when he pushed the dress down to her ankles and she stood wearing only a black bra, panties, thigh-high hose and heels. He ran his hand along her naked hip and stifled a groan. “God, you’re beautiful. Better make that very fast and very furious.” His glance at her was hot and entreating. “I’ll make it up to you afterward. I promise.”

  Deidre laughed, flattered by his admission. She turned in his arms. “I believe you,” she said truthfully. She went up on her toes and met him in a kiss. Their mouths clung when he lifted her against him and moved toward the bed, sitting heavily on the edge of the mattress. Deidre’s knees parted as she straddled him. She couldn’t get enough of the taste of him or the sensation of his molding lips and searching tongue. She shivered uncontrollably when he ran his hands over her from shoulder to hip. He placed both hands on her bottom and slid her closer into his lap. She moaned feverishly into his mouth when she felt the strength of his arousal.

  No wonder he’d said things would be fast and furious.

  Her sex clenched tight at the mere thought.

  She became transported with heat...with need. She whispered his name as she rained kisses along his collar and began to tug at his tie. He helped her and she was free to unfasten his shirt. She opened the fabric a moment later and ran her hands over his chest and the erotic swell of his shoulder muscles. It felt so good she leaned down to sample the dense flesh with her teeth.

  Nick hissed and his hold on her buttocks tightened. Deidre heard the hard edge of arousal in his tone, and it thrilled her. Her mouth moved over him hungrily, sampling his chest, tasting a small, rigid nipple. She felt feverish...liberated by her desire. She went lower, leaning down and tilting her head to scrape her teeth lightly against the side of a rib.

  She began to unbuckle his belt, holding his gaze as she unfastened his trousers.

  “Deidre,” he grated out when she took his length into her hand. She wondered anew at how hard and heavy his erection felt against her palm and stroking fingers. His eyes seemed alight with need as he watched her through narrowed lids. “This is how you treat a man when he tells you he’s hurting for you?”